Take comfort wherever you can
by agentwhalesong
Summary: Mulder comforts Scully after Maggie dies.


It took her a few seconds to realize she was not in her own bed and that someone had their arms gently resting on her waist. She observed the way he slept, peaceful as she hadn't seen in a long time, even before the time she left.

She considered moving, but she would end up waking him up and she wasn't sure if she was ready to face him yet.

Years ago, she had comforted him in the same way when his mother had died, so why was she feeling guilty about it now? Oh yes, back then there wasn't a broken marriage between them. For years she was reluctant about words such as marriage and husband and wife, until one day she realized that was exactly what they were, even if they hadn't signed any papers or had any kind of celebration.

She closed her eyes again, trying to go back to sleep, feeling the warmth of his breath close to her own and hoping it would lull her back to sleep. Instead, she felt a hint of desire and, before she realized what she was doing, she pressed her lips against his.

His eyes jolted open, confused at first, but then his mouth turned a little upwards, opening up in a smile.

"Hey," he said sleepily, his voice hoarse "Feeling better?"

She nodded, a little embarrassed. She shouldn't have woken him up like this, especially because she didn't want to give him false hope. Was it really false hope, though?

Then she smiled weakly.

"Thank you for letting me stay last night."

He shook his head, as he always did when he thought she had said something absurd.

"I'll always be here, Dana. I hope you know that."

Ouch.

"I'm the one who's always leaving, right?" She said, guilt building up inside her.

She averted her eyes to his chest and heard him sigh.

"That's not what I meant. I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead.

"No, Mulder, I'm the one who's sorry. I know how much it hurts you whenever I stay, and yet, I keep coming back. It's not fair to you."

He took a deep breath before speaking again and she thought that whatever was coming out of his mouth, she deserved it.

"It's not fair to you either. Scully, your mom died. You're hurt. Why don't you let me comfort you and be in peace with it? I'm not asking for anything in return, I just want you to be okay. That's really all I ever wanted and all I ever will."

He kissed her forehead again and she allowed a tear to run freely down her face. She moved closer and held him tighter.

"I love you, Mulder. I don't think I say this enough."

They had never been too vocal about their feelings, but in times like this, times of loss and suffering, life reminded her that it was important that the ones you cared about knew they were loved. She felt his grip tighten around her waist and a kiss at the top of her head.

"I know, babe, I know."

Regardless of their current relationship status, she never stopped loving him. The reasons why she left were many, but love certainly wasn't one of them. She would always love this man, more than she ever loved anyone in her life.

They stayed in silence for a moment and her thoughts roamed free, until they stopped at something that made her chuckle.

"What is it?" She heard Mulder say.

She moved a little so that her head would lay on the pillow and she could look at him.

"Do you remember the first time we went to my mom's as a couple?"

He smiled at her, memories apparently filling his mind too, then he nodded.

"I remember how your brother kept trying to put me down and how Maggie stood up for me."

"William Scully Jr., I didn't raise you to become such a jerk!" Scully imitated her mom's voice, finishing her sentence with a laugh.

Mulder laughed with her.

"And then she made him apologize to me. Not even my mom was ever that careful about my feelings." He paused for a beat, then continued. "I will miss Maggie, too. She was one of a kind."

Scully smiled sadly.

"Yeah, she was. And one of the lucky few people in this world to be allowed to call you Fox, I might add."

He chuckled.

"Yes. All the two of you. Maybe three if we count Skinner."

"And Diana…"

Mulder made a face when she said that because he wasn't expecting Diana's name to come up.

"Diana kind of forced her way in, you know. I never said she could call me Fox. In fact, I begged her to call me Mulder, but she wouldn't oblige. So one day I gave up and decided to cringe every time she said my given name instead. She never bothered with that either."

Scully raised an eyebrow, suspicious. He continued.

"You were the first person to ever respect me, Scully. That day when you called me Fox the first time, I laughed at you because I forgot I hadn't told you that bit about my life yet. We already seemed so close that it completely escaped me that there were things you didn't know. But since that day you never called me Fox again just because I asked. That's when I fell in love with you, I think."

She laughed. She knew that last bit wasn't completely true, but it was something that might have added to his admiration for her.

"I call you Fox sometimes now, though. Does that bother you?"

He shook his head, smiling.

"Not at all. Like I said, you are allowed to. And it's kind of cute when you do. Also hot, depending on when you say it."

He smiled slyly at her and she giggled.

Was it even right to flirt shamelessly like this when they both knew they couldn't be together? Why couldn't they, anyway? Was it just her pride standing in her way? Was she ready to come back to him?

As if reading her mind, he pressed his lips against hers. She opened up to him and felt his tongue touch hers, tasting her the way she liked. She sometimes forgot how good his kisses were and how they were able to heal any pain. That's what had brought her to his bed in the first place. She pulled away first and sighed.

"I really should go."

But she didn't move.

"I think you should stay."

He didn't want to touch the subject so close after one of the biggest losses of her life, but he felt it was the right thing to do.

She closed her eyes and inhaled. When she exhaled, she felt all the tension she had been holding leave her body. She opened her eyes again and stared at him.

"For how long?"

He smiled because he knew she was going to ask that question. It had been a cute thing between them, back from when they started to be romantically involved.

"Forever," he whispered.

She smiled back at him, but there was sadness in her eyes.

"You know I can't promise you that right now…"

She raised her right hand to caress his face while he nodded. He kissed her palm when it got closer to his mouth.

"A couple of minutes, then?"

She chuckled.

"A couple of minutes sounds good to me."

He gave her a peck on the lips and then closed his eyes, holding her hand to his chest. That's something he used to do when they were together. Feeling his heartbeat against her palm always calmed her down and he knew it.

She closed her eyes again, ready to drift off to sleep, but she needed to say something first, before she lost the courage to do so.

"I feel home again, Mulder. Maybe forever is not long now."

He pulled her closer as a way of acknowledging her.

"Whenever you're ready, Scully. Whenever you're ready."

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! I don't know how I feel about this, but my thoughts were nagging at me so I had to write them down. I hope it's not too fluff or too out of character. As always, feedback is appreciated. =)_

 _The title of this fic is borrowed from the song 'Comfort' by Deb Talan._


End file.
